Interview with a Bystander
Interviewee: "Greetings, Bystander!"
Bystander: "Eh?"
Interviewee: "I'd like you interview me. Come and sit down on this chair here, with your hands on your knees. And get that earnest look into your eyes..."
Bystander: "I don't know you."
Interviewee: "Nor I you. And so being equal, let us begin. Where was I born?"
Bystander: "How should I know?"
Interviewee: "You shouldn't - that's the beauty of it! Sit down, stop fidgeting, and I will tell you. All you need to do is listen. It's not very different from being a bystander - passivity, attention to what is happening around you. You're quite well-equipped already..."
Bystander: (looks away)
Interviewee: "I was born in Utgult-Metchold on the 5th of December, 1314. In the waiting room. And then the war erupted. Seven days later, a surgeon who thought himself the bee's knees arrived to perform a miniature transformation on my left toe-nail which would render me immortal. But I had flown away, I was a soul by then. It can happen.
When I fell to ground, it was Thursday. I went and bought myself a Big Mac. You could say it has been an interesting life.
I like the colour red. When the praying mantis comes for me, I lie in wait, and I strike. It thrills those who like tragedy, and for the others, well, tough luck!"
Bystander: "Are you mad?"
Interviewee: "Without a question. I'm glad you asked, it shows you're getting into the spirit of things..."
Bystander: "What?"
Interviewee: "My, my, what an interviewer we're turning out to be! This is encouraging, very encouraging..."
Bystander: (walks away)
Interviewee: "Well, that was intense, but in a good way. I've learned some lessons for next time: talk more, listen less, and bring some rope to keep the interviewer rapt."
Interviewee: (yawns)
Interviewee: "What a beautiful day for a bystander."
Bystander: "Eh?"
Interviewee: "I'd like you interview me. Come and sit down on this chair here, with your hands on your knees. And get that earnest look into your eyes..."
Bystander: "I don't know you."
Interviewee: "Nor I you. And so being equal, let us begin. Where was I born?"
Bystander: "How should I know?"
Interviewee: "You shouldn't - that's the beauty of it! Sit down, stop fidgeting, and I will tell you. All you need to do is listen. It's not very different from being a bystander - passivity, attention to what is happening around you. You're quite well-equipped already..."
Bystander: (looks away)
Interviewee: "I was born in Utgult-Metchold on the 5th of December, 1314. In the waiting room. And then the war erupted. Seven days later, a surgeon who thought himself the bee's knees arrived to perform a miniature transformation on my left toe-nail which would render me immortal. But I had flown away, I was a soul by then. It can happen.
When I fell to ground, it was Thursday. I went and bought myself a Big Mac. You could say it has been an interesting life.
I like the colour red. When the praying mantis comes for me, I lie in wait, and I strike. It thrills those who like tragedy, and for the others, well, tough luck!"
Bystander: "Are you mad?"
Interviewee: "Without a question. I'm glad you asked, it shows you're getting into the spirit of things..."
Bystander: "What?"
Interviewee: "My, my, what an interviewer we're turning out to be! This is encouraging, very encouraging..."
Bystander: (walks away)
Interviewee: "Well, that was intense, but in a good way. I've learned some lessons for next time: talk more, listen less, and bring some rope to keep the interviewer rapt."
Interviewee: (yawns)
Interviewee: "What a beautiful day for a bystander."
posted by Cheshire Cat at 6:38 AM
2 Comments:
:-) you're on a roll here, no? like your interviewee, i'm lovin' it.
Well, this posting spree has a lot to do with the fact that I'm supposed to have been doing something important (with a capital i) instead over the past week.
Without procrastination, I'd never get any work done :)
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